


trading darkness for the dawn

by seoktothegyu



Series: some say love is pain [2]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Reconciliation, and jaebri are such supportive friends, sungjin will do anything for him, wonpil is such a sweetheart, wonpil-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: During a visit back home, Wonpil planned to do whatever it took to fix his relationship with his father. And Sungjin, ever the sweetest boyfriend, decided to help him out. (By finally knocking some sense into Wonpil’s father’s head, but that’s beside the point.)or, the one wherein we finally get to know sungpil's side of the story as mentioned in chapter 3 of the previous “let's hurt tonight” fic.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil/Park Sungjin
Series: some say love is pain [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1828321
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	trading darkness for the dawn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ILLC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILLC/gifts).



> I’m sooo sorry this took a while. But thanks for requesting it and I hope you like it :)
> 
> Please enjoy this two-shot! I wanted to make it really sad (given the premise) but I didn’t have the guts to hurt our Wonpirie too much (also because parkian decided to drown us with new content like??? made me so happy the past week). So blame jhpn if this isn’t too sad lol :)
> 
> Anyways, here’s the first part!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this story are either products of my imagination or are used fictitiously.

  
It was two years ago when Wonpil came out to his parents. 

Two years since he stopped visiting home during semester breaks, chuseoks, and all the other holidays. 

And two years since his father last looked him in the eye.

After Sungjin confessed to Wonpil and told him that he’s been in love with him for years, Wonpil drew courage from that. It was through Sungjin’s words, and from his love and trust in Wonpil alone that he finally felt strong enough to be the person he really is. To embrace himself. To stop hiding. To bare himself to his family, hoping they’d still see him the same.

“Eomma, appa,” Wonpil had started then, palms sweaty and legs jittery, as he met his parents’ curious eyes, slightly looking worried over their son’s behavior and the nervous energy surrounding him. 

“What is it, Wonpil-ah?” His mother prompted when he took too long of a pause. 

Always so sweet, kind, and caring for her son. 

Wonpil wondered if she’d stay the same, fearing the day when she’d start seeing him with a different set of eyes, tainted and broken.

“Sungjin and I…” he took a deep breath, recalling the way the older’s eyes shone as he told Wonpil how much he loves him with all of his heart. He felt himself gaining courage from the memory of it, gaining strength from _him_. He stilled himself, stopped fidgeting as he finally let it out. 

“Sungjin and I are dating.” 

He could almost hear his words echo in the room. For a long time, it was so quiet, so cold.

Until finally, his mother let out a surprised gasp. Which then, to Wonpil’s utter astonishment, turned into an excited squeal. 

He was so afraid to hope, didn’t think he deserved to, but he knew he needed to see it with his own eyes. And as he permitted himself to meet his mother’s gaze, an immense wave of relief flooded through him to see her smiling back at him. 

The ever-present light in her eyes didn’t change. If anything, it shined brighter as she regarded Wonpil with nothing but love so pure that Wonpil almost felt it enveloping him, making him feel safe and protected.

She still regarded Wonpil as if he was the brightest star in the black night sky, ethereal and infinite. Her son is still the most precious thing in _her_ world. Nothing changed.

He should have never doubted his mom.

His father on the other hand…

“Appa?” He called to him, seeing as how his father made no noticeable reaction whatsoever since then. 

Growing up, Wonpil had never been afraid of his father, or the things he might say, even when he was really angry about something. But, looking at how still and emotionless his father was being, Wonpil’s imaginations ran wild.

And none of them were good. 

“Please say something.” He pleaded.

“Since when?” 

Wonpil jumped a little in his seat. He was shocked that that was his father’s initial response. 

A question asked in monotone. 

Nerves shot through his entire body because of it. As someone who’s been close to his father, his opinion means so much to Wonpil.

“Almost a month ago, right before last semester ended…” he mumbled, choosing his words as he was suddenly afraid to meet his father’s eyes.

“A month?!” His father repeated, his voice raised that made Wonpil flinch. 

Subconsciously, he cowered away, scared to see the look on his father’s face. The look that he’d been dreading the most. He cowered to protect himself from the sight of it. Not because he was afraid his father would hit him. Although the pessimistic side of Wonpil told himself to appear small and weak even though his father never laid a hand on him, this whole situation was completely foreign to all of them. 

Unfortunately, the sight of Wonpil shrinking into himself seemingly out of fear only further enraged his father.

“Is… Is this a new thing with you? Experimenting with your best friend? I just… I don’t understand— why are you just telling me this now?” His father asked, still in that same raised tone, his voice breaking at the end that Wonpil realized it was a sound that he never wanted to hear again. 

_Please tell me I didn’t just break my father’s heart._ He mourned to himself, willing away the tears from his eyes.

“Because I was— because _I’m scared_ , appa. I’m scared you’d say that. Because this is not really new. Not to me. I’ve known who I really am for years, I’ve felt trapped and hidden for too long. I’ve been secretly in love with Sungjin for as long as I realized that my heart beats differently. And when I found out he felt the same, I suddenly felt brave enough to come out too.” He confessed, bravely meeting his father’s eyes to let him see the sincerity in his own. “I’m gay, appa. Your son is gay. I only told you about it now because I’ve been so afraid of what you’ll—”

“Enough.” His father abruptly stood up from the couch. 

“Appa?” Wonpil asked, voice shaking as his heart grasped desperately at the last bits of hope leaving his chest. “Please, hear me out—”

“I trusted you, Wonpirie. I thought that you… I thought I knew who you were.” Wonpil could pretty much hear his heart shattering into a million pieces at his father’s words. “Turns out, I was completely wrong.” 

With that, his father turned away. But not before Wonpil saw the way his features crumpled as his eyes shone with quiet tears. 

(For months, Wonpil despised himself for putting that look on his father's face. Thank God Sungjin was always there to remind him that it wasn’t his fault in the first place.)

And so, Wonpil had no choice but to cut his visit home short. After days of his father not talking to him, and even actively avoiding him by leaving the room whenever Wonpil stepped in it, he figured his heart couldn’t take it anymore. And even though it hurt to leave his mom too, she really just wanted to spend more time with her son and ask about his relationship with Sungjin, Wonpil couldn’t handle another dismissive remark his father threw at him. 

“Tell _your_ son to take out the trash,” he’d often say to his wife on the days that followed. It suddenly became “your son” as if Wonpil was no longer _his_ anymore.

So, Wonpil went back to campus with nothing but his bleeding heart to keep him company. Fortunately, his boyfriend kept insisting to visit him in his dorm on the weekends instead. And so, everytime Sungjin came, Wonpil would kiss him a little longer, hug him a little tighter, as he seeked the older’s comfort and warmth, wanting to be held and savoring the feel of being wanted.

Other times, Sungjin’s annoying friends—who ultimately became Wonpil’s friends—Jae and Brian also kept him company whenever he would get especially sad. It was refreshing being around those two; witnessing their playful bickering and then playfully judging them whenever they got sappy and clingy with each other. 

And through all this, going on double-dates with them or just hanging out together in Jae and Brian’s apartment off-campus, Wonpil found himself slowly feeling happy again. He would stop staring at his phone, wondering if it would be alright to call home, afraid that his father would pick up. He started letting himself laugh more, teased his friends almost relentlessly, and cuddled with Sungjin almost every night without feeling guilty.

The pain was still there, it had just softened into a dull ache. No longer as piercing and gut-wrenching as when it happened, but still a constant reminder of when his close relationship with his appa fell apart. He hadn’t been back home for all of two years—just talking to his mom on the phone whenever he could—due to the reasonable thought that his father simply didn’t want him to. 

But somehow, sometimes, he would be alright with it. All he needed to do was remind himself that he’s happy and content with Sungjin, with their friends, and with being able to freely express himself. 

That was more than enough for Wonpil.

So why on earth was he back at their town’s train station on this fine Saturday morning anxiously waiting for his mother to pick him up?

You see, the past couple of months, his mother had been hinting that his father was starting to miss him. 

“He was getting a bit curious about our nightly calls, Wonpil-ah. I could tell that he wanted to know what we’re always talking and laughing about. But you know your appa, Pirie. Always so stubborn.”

“Last week, he slipped and asked me, ‘What do you think Pirie-mirie is doing right now?’ while we were eating lunch. I pretended not to notice and told him that it’s your free period.”

“Last night, I saw him staring at your high school graduation picture in the living room for a few minutes straight. He just stood there with a small smile on his face.”

“Come home, Wonpirie. I miss you. Your father said he misses you so much.”

That last one was the final stone that took down all of Wonpil’s walls.

Really, who was he to deny his parents of anything? Wonpil is nothing if not a good son. 

If he was being completely honest, he had been waiting to hear those words ever since. Just a tiny bit of assurance that his father didn’t hate him after all. And so, when he heard it, Wonpil was floored. Him and his mother both knew that his father could never hold a grudge. That he was often just being stubborn for the sake of it. His heart soared at the thought that maybe space was all his father needed to accept him, that maybe he now had the chance to fix their relationship that was once so loving and bright.

 _Maybe... it’ll be different this time._ Wonpil had thought—rather, hoped. With his entire being for it to be true.

He was so close to graduating in college—just a semester left. He really would love for his parents to be there. And so, armed with the stories he heard from his mother, Wonpil vowed to do whatever it takes to mend things with his father. He really does miss his appa too.

Speaking of, Wonpil finally caught sight of their family car rounding the corner. Gripping his large duffel bag on one hand, Wonpil waved to the driver’s seat with the other.

He shot a quick text to his boyfriend, heeding Sungjin’s request to let him know that he arrived safely.

**My Pirie 🐰:**

_Eomma’s picking me up now!_

_Miss you already :(_

He added the last part just to be cute.

**Ddungdinie 🐻:**

_Say hi to her for me_

_And don’t worry, okay? I’ll follow you soon enough_

He couldn’t help but smile bashfully after reading Sungjin’s words. He would have loved it if they came back home together but he understood that Sungjin had to stay behind for a few days to finalize things with his thesis adviser.

**My Pirie 🐰:**

_What, no ‘i miss you too’? :(_

**Ddungdinie 🐻:**

_I miss you too, Pirie_

❤️

_I thought that goes without saying_

**My Pirie 🐰:**

🥰🥰🥺🤩😘👄👅

**Ddungdinie 🐻:**

_Now get off your phone and stop texting me_

_Your eomma hasn’t seen you in years, flirt with me later._

Wonpil let out a delighted laugh. Just like that, he felt somehow lighter. Calmer and more grounded. Sungjin really has that effect on him.

**My Pirie 🐰:**

_I love u_

**Ddungdinie 🐻:**

_I love you too._

Smiling, Wonpil finally pocketed his phone.

As soon as the car stopped at the curb, he rushed to greet his mother behind the wheel. She got out of the car to stand in front of him and without missing a beat, Wonpil dropped his bag on the ground before enveloping his mother in a warm, tight hug. 

“I missed you, eomma.” He whispered against her temple before placing a kiss on top of her head. “I’m so sorry.” He apologized, not only for not seeing his mother as often as he should, but also for the rift that was still happening between him and his dad. He hated putting his mom in the middle of all of that.

He felt his mother’s arms tighten around his torso as she murmured back, “I know, sweetheart. I missed you too. All that matters to me is that you’re here now.”

Tenderness, security, and love filled his eyes with tears, threatening to spill over. He’d really die for his mom, no questions asked.

After a while, they finally pulled away from the embrace. 

“Time to go home, Pirie.” His mother prompted, reaching behind her to get back to the driver’s seat before they’d get called off for hogging the pick-up area. 

_Home._ Wonpil echoed in his head.

For two years, he had longed to be able to call their house like that again, and to actually mean it with his heart. But who knows? Wonpil is an optimist. Surely, with his persistence, he could bring him closer to his father again.

Plastering a smile on his face—no need to worry his mother about how nervous he was feeling in anticipation—he quickly loaded his bag on the backseat before taking his place on the passenger side. 

“Your appa has zero idea about today.” His mother continued, giggling in excitement as she drove off from the station to head back home. 

This was one of the main reasons why Wonpil was nervous: him and his mother planned to surprise his father with this visit. He had no idea at all that Wonpil was coming home. And the amount of anticipation flooding his limbs alone should have been enough for him to want to hightail it back to campus, but see, he held onto hope that his father _really_ missed him too. He knows his mother by heart so he knew for sure that she didn’t make up any of that. 

“And by the way, when is Sungjin coming home too?” His mother asked delightedly, filling the otherwise quiet car with chatter. 

Wonpil was still feeling a bit too nervous to casually gossip with his mother. 

“In about two weeks.” Wonpil informed her. 

See, in addition to mending things with his father, he wanted to introduce Sungjin to his parents as his boyfriend for the first time. Sure, they already know the older seeing as how Wonpil pretty much grew up with him as he only lived down the street. And his mother actually got closer with Sungjin now that the boy was dating her son.

But still, it would’ve been nice to personally say, “Eomma, appa, this is Sungjin. My boyfriend.” Even if it was just for the mere sake of being official with it. Call him old-fashioned, but Wonpil just loved pulling theatrics like that.

“Well, I can’t wait to see him again too.” His mother enthusiastically told him. 

Wonpil really appreciates her. He could tell how much she was doing this to try to cheer him up and to distract him from worrying.

But alas, he is still his father’s son and so Wonpil could be just as stubborn.

They finally arrived at their house. And after his mother parked the car, she patiently waited for Wonpil to muster enough courage to get out of the passenger seat and walk the few steps to their front door.

It warmed his heart to see that, on the outside, not much had changed. He felt a huge wave of nostalgia hit him as he stepped onto the welcome mat with his parents’ slippers and sandals propped on the side of the door. The same type of plants hanging on hooks by the grills on the windows. And the similar sight of his mother’s favorite yellow curtains billowing with the wind.

Already, the house was starting to feel like home to Wonpil again.

Steeling his nerves, Wonpil felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. His mother gave him an encouraging nod as his hand grasped the doorknob.

Now or never. 

Breathing out a heavy sigh, Wonpil stepped inside his home for the first time in two years. He almost cried after seeing that nothing much had changed in the place he loved to be in, his place of solace. 

The living room where they had the talk still looked the same, if not for the furniture looking just a tad bit aged and worn out through time. Was the couch looking more weary than before? Were there more scratches and coffee mug marks left on the center table? Was the drawers on the TV stand losing one of its knobs? Was that flower vase there when he left? 

Though Wonpil suspected that the only reason those small bits stood out to him was because he had spent all of those two years picturing their house in his head. Trying to recall lounging back on his favorite spot by the tiny couch or the feel of the hardwood floors under his feet. And when he couldn’t remember the littlest of details, he’d make something up just to complete the picture.

The room was empty as Wonpil walked in with his mom.

“Ah, he must be in the kitchen cooking lunch.” She guessed quietly, gently grabbing Wonpil by the arm for support. “Do you want me to call him?”

Unable to speak, Wonpil merely gave her a nod in response. This was really happening. If he strained his ears a little, he could pretty much make out the sound of his father’s whistling coming from the other room. A telltale sign of him enjoying the simple act of cooking. 

Wonpil’s heart ached at the thought.

Bracing himself, he took a deep breath as his mother started, “Honey, can you come here real quick? Someone’s here to see you.”

Wonpil stood still as he waited, the sound of footsteps reverberating alongside his heart that was beating loudly in his chest.

“Who is it? I’m almost done with—” his father stopped dead on his tracks. 

The two of them watched each other, standing on opposite ends of the room, almost unmoving. Wonpil witnessed as a myriad of emotions washed over his father’s face, and saw the shift in his eyes. He saw something in there that made his heart skip a beat. He watched it all unfold with bated breath, wishing and hoping to capture what he had longed to see.

“What are you doing here?” His father asked. 

God, Wonpil missed that voice. He didn’t care that the first time he heard it in two years, he was regarded with such a cold and emotionless tone. It was still a huge difference that his father was actually _talking to him_ again.

“I just... I was just…” Wonpil stammered, palms sweaty and feet jittery--almost reminiscent of the day he came out to his parents. Nothing much really changed. Clearing his throat, he continued, “I’m graduating soon, appa. I came back home to personally ask you would be there on the day of the ceremony, maybe?”

He was still so nervous and afraid of what his father would say. But unlike that day two years ago, he was braver now. Backed by Sungjin, Jae, and Brian’s words of encouragement and support. And so, even though his heart felt so fragile, his gaze never wavered. He constantly met his father’s eyes to show him the sincerity in his own, laying out his feelings for his father to see.

For once, it was his father who broke away from his gaze. His features crumpled in a frown as he mumbled, “I might be busy that day. I don’t know.” And without another word, he disappeared back into the kitchen.

Wonpil was still left staring at the spot by the doorway his father stood.

Almost immediately, he was enveloped in his mother’s warm embrace. “I’m so sorry, Wonpirie. You know how stubborn your father is. He didn’t mean that. Just give him time, okay?” Wonpil nodded against her shoulder. “He’ll come around soon enough. I wasn’t lying when I said that he really misses you lately.”

Wonpil pulled away. He gave his mother a reassuring smile and said, “Don’t worry, eomma. It’s okay. I’m okay.” He promised her in an attempt to dispel the worry in her eyes. “He was probably just feeling overwhelmed. We did kind of ambush him at his own home.”

His mother chuckled lightly at that. “That is true. I guess the surprise was a bit of a fail in that aspect. Your father acts older than his age, exciting situations don’t agree with him.” She joked, making Wonpil laugh for real this time.

“Don’t let him hear you say that.” He added, playing along.

She shook her head. “Oh, let him hear it. He’s been rude to my baby who just got home.” Wonpil flashed her a grateful smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

“It’s okay, eomma. I don’t want you two to have an argument because of me.” Wonpil told her before pressing a thankful kiss on her temple. He repeated, “I’m okay. And, um, I’m really tired from the trip. Is it alright if I sleep in until dinner instead?”

His mother tutted at him, grabbing his duffel bag and placing it against one end of the couch. “Go on up to your room then. Get some sleep. Sungjin told me you often stayed up too late the past few weeks. I hope you weren’t pulling all-nighters or else…”

A cheeky smile found its way on Wonpil’s lips. He just loved getting reminded of how close his mother is with his boyfriend. “I can’t believe Sungjin threw me under the bus like that.”

“Shush,” his mother dismissed him, playful. “I trust him more than you. Now go to your room and rest. Back before college, you didn’t have those bags under your eyes.”

Wonpil laughed as he dodged his mother’s swatting hand. “Alright, alright!” He replied just to appease her, doing as he was told. 

Somehow, Wonpil felt lighter. As he walked past the kitchen to get to his old room, his insides didn’t freeze up at the thought of his father again. 

He actually felt happier. Because as he was studying his father earlier, what he saw there did wonders to his own heart. 

He caught sight of tenderness and love flash in his father’s eyes. Even if it was just for a second, it was already more than enough for Wonpil. Add in the fact that his father didn’t outright tell him no? That he would never come to his graduation?

Coming here, he didn’t delude himself into thinking that he could fix their relationship overnight. He even expected his father to send him away immediately. But the fact that none of those things happened, Wonpil counted it all as a huge progress.

He promised himself to work his way back to his father’s good graces again during this visit. And just couldn’t wait to start doing that. 

_Maybe… he really did miss me._ Wonpil was nothing if not an optimist.

And so, for the first few days of being back, Wonpil tried a lot of things to reach out. First, he tried to do all of his father’s chores so that his appa wouldn’t get too tired at the end of every day. When he saw his father struggling to load a heavy equipment into the back of their old beat up truck to take the farm, he offered to do it for him. 

“Appa, let me help,” Wonpil started, bending down to help lift the thing off the ground. “You might hurt yourself.”

“I can do it.” His father replied instead, still as stubborn as ever even though it was very clear that the task was starting to hurt his back.

“I know, appa.” Wonpil appeased, not letting his father’s dismissive tone deter him from helping. “I just wanted to help—”

“I said I can do it.” His father snapped. Straightening his stance so that he was looming over his son. “And I especially do not need _anything_ from you.”

“I’m sorry.” Wonpil mumbled, defeated. With a heart heavy in his chest and head looking down to his feet, he stood up to leave his father be.

As he laid in bed later that night, overanalyzing what he should and shouldn’t have done during the day, he reasoned that maybe he unintentionally bruised his father’s pride that was why he reacted that way. 

Don’t get him wrong, it still hurt to be dismissed that way even though he was used to it.

But it was just… if he let any of it get to him, he would get disheartened to the point that he’d rather give up. And he would have to break the promise he made to himself—to not leave this town without earning back his father’s approval. 

With every time he got ignored, he just shrugged it off and kept on trying. Besides, what other choice was there but to push through.

Quitting was not an option for Wonpil.

So for his second attempt, he made it simple and sweet. He started waking up extra early in the morning to make coffee. It was so that whenever his father would wake up for work, his steaming mug would be waiting for him at the table. Relentlessly, he would greet his father a good morning with a bright and cheery voice every time he handed him the coffee. He’d been keeping that up for a week now.

And wordlessly, his father would accept it. He hadn’t technically been pushing Wonpil away so he easily saw that as a win. Encouraged by this, on one incredibly early Friday morning, he got up right after the crack of dawn to bake his father’s favorite banana muffins to take to the farm.

He made sure to get the outer and topmost part of each pastry just shy half of getting toasted so that when you bite into it, it’d feel crisp. Just the way he knew his father liked it. 

Satisfied with what he had done, Wonpil packed the goods into a paper bag. He even wrote something sweet on the outside for good measure.

_“Have a good day at work, appa! :)”_

He would have loved to keep sitting at their dining table as he waited for his father to wake up but unfortunately, since he himself had been up since four in the morning to bake, sleep was quickly catching up to Wonpil.

As his eyelids started to feel too heavy to be kept open, Wonpil figured to just go back to bed and leave the food he made in front of his father’s place at the table. Alongside that, he made sure that the coffee was running hot in the maker before he went back to his room. 

Mentally giving himself a pat in the back, Wonpil went back to sleep, excited and wondering what reaction his father would have after seeing his simple surprise.

 _You did good, Wonpil-ah._ He permitted himself to feel proud before succumbing back to slumber. He knew his father had a weakness for those muffins.

He was feeling so hopeful that even when he had already woken up again from his quick nap, it took him a while to notice that the paper bag was still sitting on the table. Just like the way he had left it earlier this morning.

His father left it there, untouched. 

His heart pretty much shattered as he peered into the bag, still full of the muffins he worked so hard to bake them according to his father’s liking. 

His eyes started to sting with unshed tears, taking out the pastries and staring down at the fresh burn marks on his fingers. He wasn’t exactly a good cook—just religiously followed a recipe—but he had wanted to perfect these muffins. So much so that he accidentally hurt himself in the process. 

He reasoned then that it didn’t matter, that it was all worth it, because he thought that his father would appreciate what he did.

Oh, how wrong he was to think that.

“Sweetie, what’s the matter?”

Sniffling, Wonpil quickly wiped away the tears on his face. “Nothing, eomma. I was just still feeling sleepy.” He rubbed fists against his eyes in a poor attempt to keep up the tiny white lie.

He didn’t want to cause a rift between his mother and father as well. He was already inserting himself into his parents’ otherwise tension-free home now that he came back. 

Clearing his throat to make sure that his voice wouldn’t give him away, he put on a false cheery tone as he said, “I accidentally made too many muffins, eomma. Would you like some?”

Under the table and unseen by his mother, Wonpil crumpled the paper bag in his hand until the message he wrote on there was no longer readable. He gripped the paper into a ball so hard that his nails were leaving dents and red crescent marks against his skin. 

He didn’t care that his new burnt marks sang in protest. Those didn’t hurt nearly as much as his father kept breaking his heart anyway.

For his third attempt, he chose to be bold with it. It was Sunday and so his father was home the entire day and just kept himself busy by repairing whatever appliance or minor broken thing that he could find. 

Wonpil still believed that, since his father’s weakness is food, that was the direction he decided to go with it. Only this time, he decided to go big.

He asked for his mother to help him cook his father’s favorite dish for dinner—kimchi jjigae. They both went to the market together to buy the ingredients early in the afternoon, prepped everything in the kitchen to make sure that they had everything they might need, they basically made a whole day out of it. 

Even though his mother is a good chef, she let Wonpil do most of the cooking. Only teaching and guiding him to do what he was supposed to, and merely lending a hand when asked. They hadn’t talked about it, but Wonpil knew that his mother was aware of what he had been planning and doing to earn back his father’s affections. And he greatly appreciated that she had been so supportive by helping him and constantly convincing and talking to—read: arguing with—her husband about it.

Right as the two of them were sitting for dinner, Wonpil’s mother finally called her husband into the room.

“Honey!” She hollered, her voice echoing throughout the house. “Food’s ready, get in here!”

Not a moment later, his father came bounding into the room and sniffing the air around him almost animatedly.

“Is that…” he trailed off, walking closer to the table, excited.

Wonpil tried to hide his smile. His plan seemed to be working so far.

“Kimchi jjigae, your favorite.” Wonpil’s mother continued for him. “Now take a seat so we can all start eating.”

Wonpil’s father easily did as he was told. “I haven’t eaten this in a while. Thank you for the food, honey.”

“Oh, actually,” his mother started, reaching across the table to hold one of Wonpil’s hands. “This is all Pirie. He cooked everything for you, I just helped.”

Wonpil held his breath. Watching. Waiting for a reaction.

Without meeting anyone’s eyes, his father started, “I, um, I just realized that I’m actually not that hungry…” No. No, no, no. Wonpil felt like his chest was closing up on him. “I think I’ll just retire to bed early tonight.” And with that, he stood up from the table and was out the room in mere seconds.

Wonpil’s mother was having none of it. “What on earth are you doing? We are having dinner together as a family!” She called after her husband.

And when she was met with silence, she tried to go after him but Wonpil’s hand closing around her wrist stopped her.

“Eomma, don’t.” He pleaded, not even bothering to hide his wet, shiny eyes. It wasn’t like he had the strength to hold it in anyway. “Please, don’t fight because of me. I’m not worth it. Please.”

“Oh, sweetie…” his mother rushed off her seat to give him a hug. “You are worth _the world_ to me. I will fight whoever I need to for you. Even when it’s my own husband. Okay? Never say that again.”

Wonpil let himself be held, let his mother press a kiss on top of his head, and let her words hang in the air around them. His mother reassured him some more, whispering encouragements and comforting words to his hair. However, to Wonpil’s ears, they all just sounded hollow. Empty promises of a better and happier time that would never come.

Later that night, as he was walking past his parents room after brushing his teeth, he overheard them fighting about him.

“—what is _wrong_ with you?” His mother asked, frustration ringing true with every word. Wonpil stopped on his tracks, heart heavy in his chest as he heard his mother continue.

“Would it hurt you to at least eat the food that he worked _so hard_ to cook for you?”

Wonpil heard his father release a tired sigh. “I just didn’t have an appetite earlier—”

“Bullshit! Don’t give me that lame excuse.” His wife cut him off. “Can’t you see that he’s been trying to get you to notice him? Can’t you at least try to he civil? To at least look him in the eye? For once, he’s home again. I finally have my baby back in the same roof. Don’t you _dare_ ruin this for me. He’s my son, and I don’t get to see him as often as I want because of you. It’s always because of you.” 

Wonpil sagged against the wall opposite their door. Tears streamed down his face as each of his mother’s words felt like bullets shot straight to his heart. 

“Well he’s _your_ son now.” His father responded, sounding so resigned that Wonpil feared what he was going to say next. “It’s like I don’t even know who he is anymore. That person out there is _not_ my Wonpirie…”

Wonpil’s world shattered when he heard the sound of skin slapping against skin. It wasn’t hard to guess that his mother snapped his father in the face.

“Take that back.” She warned, sounding the scariest Wonpil had ever heard her. “If you don’t fix whatever pathetic issue you have against him during his vacation, I will fucking move out of this house as soon as Wonpil leaves for his university at the end of the month. Mark my words...”

Broken, lost, and lonely, Wonpil walked back to his old room. He didn’t want to hear anymore of their fight. His heart had taken so much beating in just one night, he didn’t think he’d be able survive another.

_I did this. I made them fight like this. It was all because of me._

Once inside his room, all he ever yearned for was to seek comfort from the one person he always found solace with. 

“Hey, Sungjin-hyung!” He greeted his boyfriend, trying to keep the pain and misery hidden from his voice. 

He was crouched on the floor with his back resting on the side of the bed, hugging his knees to his chest. Light coming from the moon outside was the only thing that illuminated the space that was otherwise bathed in complete darkness. The voices from the other room had long subsided but it still took him a few minutes to stop sobbing. And then he waited a couple more until he felt it safe enough to call his boyfriend without ever letting him know what he was going through.

He didn’t want to bother him with his problems. If he could keep at least one person in his life happy, then it sure as hell would be Sungjin. 

Wonpil would surely break if he dragged Sungjin down with him too.

Keeping his tone light and easy, he continued, “Are you about to sleep too?”

But instead of answering his question, Sungjin asked instead, “What’s wrong, Pirie?”

Wonpil shut his eyes tightly, trying to keep his emotions in check.

Subtly, he took a deep breath in an attempt to center himself before responding, “Nothing’s wrong, Sungjinie. What do you mean?”

He could clearly hear his boyfriend’s rising concern over the phone. “You only call me hyung when you’re sick and I’m nursing you back to health. Or when you’re too stressed with school and you’re asking me to distract you.”

Despite trying his hardest to keep them at bay, quiet tears had started streaming down his face again before hastily being wiped away.

_Pull yourself together, Kim Wonpil!_

“Nothing’s wrong, babe. Really.” He promised. He even did an excellent job of making his voice sound the same—light, casual, and as if without a care in the world.

Unfortunately, Sungjin kept proving time and time again how much he sees right through him. “Wonpil, please. Tell me. How can I help?”

Wonpil knew that he couldn’t shake him off without receiving a proper answer. And so, he decided to give him one.

“Alright, fine. You got me.” He released a sigh. “I just miss your cuddles so much, okay?”

Wonpil didn’t lie. It was true. However, it was just not the very reason why he was crying in the first place.

“Pirie…” Sungjin cooed. “Don’t worry, babe, I’m going back home soon, okay? Just a week more.”

“Can’t wait to see you again.” Wonpil whispered into the dark. “I’m going to cling to you so hard, you’ll be so embarrassed to be out in public with me.”

Sungjin’s sudden bright laughter rang on the phone, flickering a tiny bit of light in Wonpil’s heart.

“Never, Pirie.” He said. “You’ll always have me by your side, proudly holding your hand.”

Wonpil was surprised that he still had a lot of tears left in him. At this point, he was just eternally grateful that they were silent. 

For the rest of the call, Sungjin was able to successfully distract Wonpil. He kept cracking jokes, saying comforting words, and telling stupid stories that happened with their friends while Wonpil was away. He noticed that Sungjin hadn’t asked anything at all about how his plan to fix his relationship with his father was going. avoided mentioning anything at all about Wonpil’s father. 

Wonpil was more than content to just listen to Sungjin keep talking and talking. And they kept at it for the rest of the night until he heard Sungjin fighting off a yawn and trying really hard not to let Wonpil notice. 

But alas, he did. 

“You should get some rest, Ddungdinie.” He urged, feeling his chest deflate but knowing that he didn’t want to be an inconvenience to his boyfriend. “We can talk again some other time.”

“No, no. I’m not tired. I just—” a big yawn interrupted Sungjin’s words.

Wonpil chuckled despite himself. “You were saying?” He lightly teased.

“I want to keep talking to you though.” He could practically hear the pout in Sungjin’s voice. Wonpil’s heart ached some more. 

It wasn’t that often his boyfriend got especially clingy and affectionate. And now he couldn’t even properly savor the moment because he was too busy wallowing in misery.

“I love talking to you too,” he replied, his chest lurching with how much he meant it. “But… I also want you to get enough rest. I promise I’ll call you again in the morning, alright?”

Sungjin sighed, giving in. “Fine. Good night, Pirie.”

A long pause.

And Wonpil thought that Sungjin might’ve already fallen asleep but then he heard his voice again, sounding so strong and resolute that it filled the gaps in Wonpil’s chest.

“I love you for who you are, okay? _You_ complete me. Never forget that.”

Something in him twisted at hearing those words. Wonpil shut his eyes tight once more in a weak attempt of stopping another onset of tears but to no avail. 

He knew that Sungjin could already tell something happened with him and his father right as their call started. Wonpil appreciated him with his entire being that his boyfriend did everything he could to distract him, even just for a couple of hours. 

But now that their call was coming to an end, those dark thoughts that Sungjin was able to keep at bay were slowly returning to the surface.

He didn’t have it in himself to respond to Sungjin’s words. He didn’t even think that he deserved to be praised like that anyway. 

So, instead he just replied a quick, “Good night, hyung,” before hanging up the call. He didn’t want Sungjin to hear his painful sobs; didn’t want to be another inconvenience to the one person he treasured the most.

_I don’t deserve his love, anyway._

For the rest of the night, Wonpil laid in bed and curled up into a ball, wanting to take up as less space as possible.

All this time, he was trying so hard to quiet the sobs that were being ripped out of his chest. 

Over and over, he kept wishing that he had his father’s absolute silence instead. Now, it just hurt so much more to finally hear what he really thought of Wonpil.   
  
_I don’t deserve anybody’s love. Who would ever want someone who got disowned by his very own father for being gay?_  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Happier moments in the concluding chapter! And more of our other favorite pair, jaebri, in the next update :)
> 
> Tbh, I kinda took like a quick writing break to prepare for the start of our board exam review that’s why I haven’t been posting as often as I did the past months. But since that got postponed until further notice, the weeks I didn’t write anything at all are now catching up to me especially since I also got a few new ideas for parkian fics lol (another multichap i’m kinda excited about, a cute oneshot, & of course, the continuation of my future looks good series). Anyways, hopefully, I can quickly deliver these out to you guys because ff writing is honestly one of my coping mechanisms. I plan to get back to it now, for my sake :)
> 
> Anyways, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!! <3


End file.
